Wednesday, November 29, 2006
today was aight. alot of officers weren't around. didnt really do much. got a little inspiration for a song for the exhibition coming up. but it's really a little amount. we'll see what we can come up with. happy birthday tabby!!! if you're reading this that is lol. i texted you lah but maybe you were using another number. hope you had a great time today & i still owe you dinner.
anyway, as i posted on my tagboard, i'll opt out of Rough Diamond Inc. initially i thought i could contribute both to eXcess and RDI. but it appears i have to choose. i mean ping you were right, if i split my committments between eXcess and RDI, i guess i can't give my heart purely for one. i wish yall the best man really. i admire your motivation. don't let it die down. you'll always have my support. we can venture sometime together. i'm sure there'll be opportunities.
recorded on vinyl @
8:02:00 PM
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Lyrics from my newest song
[Verse #1]
I'ma broken soldier livin' in my own world,
tryna figure out what this life has to hold, so cold//
what happened, i used to be strong,
now i'm staring at my toes wond'ring where did you go//
my joy has turned into worry,
this hurt has never really left me, it kills me!//
nothing worse than this can frustrate me,
and i'm the only one to blame cos i didnt come clean//
for all that's gone by, you still fill my mind,
your face never fades so alive in my rhymes//
so what do i do now,
how do i face this,
how do i go on living my life,
how do i keep on fighting this strife//
there's no you and there's no me,
the meaning in my life has gone out of sight
my heart is torn apart so open and scarred//
[Hook]
it's you that i'm living for...today
it's you that i'm longing for...everyday//
it's you that i'm loving more...each day
it's you i wana hold...you turned away//
[Verse #2]
it hurts to look at my history, history,
it hurts to see i'm a mystery, mystery//
even to myself, i try to be me i try to be free,
and i try to succeed, but still i always end up falling too deep//
so my hope has gone with the wind,
my feelings hang heavy i choke enough of this shit//
i close my eyes and i fade to black
and i try to erase all the thoughts of you that i have and the pictures of you that i had//
so what do i do now,
how do i face this,
how do i go on living my life,
how do i keep on fighting this strife//
there's no you and there's no me,
the meaning in my life has gone out of sight
my heart is torn apart so open and scarred//
[Hook](x2)
it's you that i'm living for...today
it's you that i'm longing for...everyday//
it's you that i'm loving more...each day
it's you i wana hold...you turned away//
recorded on vinyl @
1:17:00 PM
the Cashew Fam... need i say more? chea.
recorded on vinyl @
11:01:00 AM
I'm feeling the lyrics of this song ALOT.
RASCAL FLATTS
What Hurts The MostI can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
recorded on vinyl @
8:46:00 AM
yesterday was a pretty slack day. my colleague, branch ic and another officer were on leave. that left another officer and i in the office, besides my boss who was on exercise somewhere else in the building. so i pretty much didnt do anything ha. surfed the net, talked to gerrit about Rough Diamond Inc. you know gerrit and ping, i think maybe we should change our crew name. just a suggestion. i've found what i wana do in life, and i said i'll be in the crew, and at the same involved in eXcess. we can venture together every now and then as well. it's all for a good cause, let's make this future happen man. i'm also tired of running round in circles and not doing anything. all the nights spent chilling by the poolside, they weren't very productive huh lol. when cashew heights goes en-bloc i'll really miss the poolside ambience. and the times spent chatting.
later in the evening i went to meet the good people of eXcess for a healing rally at the indoor stadium. we went to see this man of God called TB Joshua do miracles... we were supposed to meet at kallang mrt at 7 but i bumped into celestine and we went ahead first. it was a pretty long walk but walking with someone definitely helps to alleviate the monotony... hello celestine! yes i was so bored i had to read your blog lol. and yeah i try to cut down but it's hard most times. thanks for the concern. and i'll post some pictures up soon so you don't find it too wordy haha. good luck for your camp. pls try to sleep more, and don't keep fasting impromptu aight? like i said if you need someone to listen, you can talk to me.
anyway i wana give thanks to God for this man TB Joshua, as he amazingly healed many of the sick who came for the event. there were people sitting on wheelchairs, and when he touched them they got up from the wheelchair and started walking! like woa....it's the first time being at a healing rally for me but man you could feel God's love working.i actually teared when i saw those people stand on their feet. crazy. the only down part was the chinese translator. totally spoilt the flow of TB Joshua's preaching. imagine hearing spoken english dashed with a nigerian accent being echoed by mandarin... no offence intended. just the plain spoken english would be cool.
there were websites that slammed TB Joshua, one of them is
www.truthwatch.info. the stuff posted there portrayed him as blasphemous and ridiculous. well i thought otherwise when i was there. hmm it's up to one's perception i guess. as melvin said, it's what you believe in that counts, and we believe in Jesus, and i'm sure we felt his presence last night.
ok i'm forming the committee for eXcess eXhaustified eXhibition 2007. i'll let yall know tonight at H2O. chea.
recorded on vinyl @
7:50:00 AM
Sunday, November 26, 2006
today was just mad tiring for me. matt, sam, liang bao, malcolm, debra and i went to mos on friday. it was a good night but damn i had to pay $28 for entry cos i went there after meeting with edward, mel, nick, chris, marc and jem to watch TENACIOUS D. that movie was crap lah. though i had to say it was funny and entertaining. only an hour and a half, not much of a story line, but the humour was there....jack black lol......"stay where you are" "catch me if you can" haha.....
after i got my ticket stub after paying $28 at mos i lost it. i didnt get a single drink there. so it was clubbing with no alcohol. it feels so strange, suddenly i could think clearly. haha but shit money was wasted..... we only left mos at 430, proceeded to mac to refuel our bodies. we sat down and talked, and i listened to malcolm and debra rattle on about school issues. i wish i was back in CJC. sam matt and i then reached home around 8 and i played tennis straight after haha. cass and alphons came over and we played from 9 to 11. my legs were gone after that, add in the scorching heat of the sun. nothing much happened after that, had lunch and went to queensway with alphons...went out for dinner and dota with sam, matt, ping, gerrit, dan and jin hao. jin hao was unbelieveable in dota. mad insane assasin lol. ended the day with a few sticks and it's now time to hibernate.
recorded on vinyl @
2:22:00 AM
Friday, November 24, 2006
Breathe You In by Thousand Foot Krutch
Taking hold, breaking in
The pressures on, need to circulate
Mesmerized and taken in
Moving slow, so it resonates
It's time to rest, not to sleep away
My thoughts alone, try to complicate
I'll do my best, to seek you out
And be myself, not impersonate
Tried so hard to not walk away
And when things don't go my way
I'll still carry on and on just the same
I've always been strong
But can't make this happen
'Cause I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in
The fear of becoming
I'm so tired of running
And I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in
I want to breathe you in
I'm going in, so cover me
Your compass will, help me turn the page
The laughing stock I'll never be
Because I won't let them take me
Took awhile to see all the love that's around me
Through the highs and lows there's a truth that I've known
And it's You
Nice song to chill to. meaningful lyrics.
recorded on vinyl @
11:33:00 AM
Thursday, November 23, 2006
went to play basketball just now. my stamina has definitely deteriorated. what can i say. i'm used to doing half a pack a day now lol. and it's mostly reds. anyway met these two boys at the court and played two on one with them. of course i lost lah. haha. damn i was panting like crazy. prolly played a total of twenty points or so. it's a good feeling to be balling again. i need to get a new ball soon. chea.
recorded on vinyl @
11:49:00 PM
it's 4pm and i'm sitting at my office desk just waiting for time to pass. all the officers aren't in except for boss. slack day man. woot. that's why i created this blog. okay i downloaded the skin but yea at least the rest is customised haha. i'll try my hand at designing shit like this in the near future. keep yo eyes peeled.
it'll be a good way for me to get over boredom and keep myself busy from thinking about shit. i've been harboring this depression long enough. can't seem to forget her cos the feelings ran really deep. i guess it was the connection we had but alas it was lost too easily. was it my fault things had to turn out this way? i could have influenced it but i chose not to. it's been a year and a half and it's killing me softly. i'll never know if the feelings were ever mutual, if those actions were ever hints, and if i ever stood a chance after the opportunity was gone, but i guess it's kinda late now. so i'm praying, giving life to this cell group i've developed a passion for, and the people (i hear cheers from the Cashew Fam) who have made living much more fluid for me. thanks for giving a fuck. i really appreciate it. as for her i wish her all the best in uni. what's meant to be will be and we will know why in the end, cos i really don't have a clue.
man, the rest of the guys here are gonna ORD! and i've still got 7 months left on the bandwagon. blame my broken arm. the metal plate makes for nice costume jewelry though lol. i'm gonna miss you guys, especially george, hoe jyh and danny at mindef, yongping, jinghao, samuel, ben, thomas, eugene, you zhi and my branch IC who's gonna post back to mindef. God knows what's gonna happen to COT when she's gone. a fucking sturdy pillar of strength, i guess she is why our branch has pulled through thus far.
on a less nostalgic note, i've got the year end trip to perth to look forward to. about a week and a half on holiday. yea. don't need to bother about shaving everyday and getting haircuts. i'll be on leave from 12th to 22nd december. woot.
my twilight will come long after yall's man. enjoy, you bastards.
recorded on vinyl @
3:57:00 PM
by the way you can click on the 'excess forum' link on the right if you're interested in knowing what we do at our cell group
recorded on vinyl @
12:32:00 PM
two days ago i attended my cell group weekly meeting. man i've never felt the spirit of God move so strongly before. it was a little different from the weekly session we would normally have on tuesdays. this time it was meant to be a praise and worship, praying over session. nick and i prayed over a couple of people, nicole, celestine, peter, natalie, eugene, alphonsus...it was a new experience for me cos i've never really laid hands on someone while praying with all my heart. somehow i could feel the struggles, the hurt and the sadness in them and i cried. it was just amazing, what a night man, what a night. and i thank God that Chris and Natalie got touched. I pray God continues to provide for them. towards the end of the session, Jo came over and prayed over me. next thing i knew i was pushed and i fell into the hands (luckily) of the other members who supported me. i guess God took my faith to another level that night. sometimes people want explanations which can verify that God is alive, but for me it's more of knowing and feeling that he is. you just gotta be sensitive to the things that happen to you.
recorded on vinyl @
12:19:00 PM
first i'd like to thank my mom for sponsoring me a notebook. a macbook pro. woot. and it cost so much less than the original cost price, but i'm not gonna reveal why. at first my mom and i agreed to buy a laptop only when i enter NUS, but she decided to buy it now anyway, cos that special offer would not have been around for long. it adds to the dj setup i already have at home, next step is gettin the software, now that's gonna cost a bomb. i can barely save a hundred a month, and that thing's gonna cost me 1k. somebody give me a loan, or just give me some money. lol. if someone knows where to get old school hiphop records pls let me know? right now i'm just going back to the roots of hiphop. there's so much new school stuff nowadays, a visit back into the rich culture and history of hiphop would remind me of how it gave birth to it's own personality and the stake it now owns on the music scene's turf. hey matt i wana copy of eminem's new album.
recorded on vinyl @
12:05:00 PM
recorded on vinyl @
11:13:00 AM
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