Friday, June 1, 2007
alright i dont know where this surge of anger came up from and i was totally pissed last night. i might have been a bit sensitive. well the fact is i was totally lost not knowing how to proceed and go on and i asked for help. noone seemed to bother, all were too caught up in conversations. so the reason you have it, i got pissed. it's the really small things that i observe and see that makes me uncomfortable for some reason. ok maybe it is my responsibility to take care of the issues in my own department and i sincerely apologise, but that doesnt mean i'm experienced handling it. politics will always be there. it will forever exist and it is shitty sometimes. even in a small group so many things can happen. humans are well, complex and simple at the same time. alright so i've thought of some stuff and i got the prompting i should keep this sun's event plain and simple. i went back to the poolside last night to reflect about the day's events. i did get some ideas but am somehow facing a block. i hope i get over that obstacle soon so i can let my creative juices flow. i hope the group dynamics would improve. i aint expecting much, nor am i optimistic. i mean i can't change the world til i'm changed myself. thought i already am changed, it'll take a while more before i can start progressing again.
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